"Hey guys I just hopped in to play some vCTF. I would be playing ranked deathmatch but no one is ever on."
"Dude, I just hat-tricked on the last two maps. I love this hover-board."
"We're playing Suspense? That's my favorite map."
"I usually suck at FPS's but for some reason I'm always pretty good at the Unreal Series. It might have something to do with the flak cannon. A shotgun that hits at a distance and bounces off of walls? That's my boomstick."
"I just scored again. I've been doing that a lot tonight, you guys need to step up your game."
"They scored on us but it's okay. We'll end this tie any minute. Go Blue Team."
"I got their flag."
"Crap they got ours too. Somebody kill the carrier I'm almost at our base."
"Good he's dead, I'm already standing on our flag post so just touch our flag and we score."
"It's been like 30 seconds. You must be having some trouble out there. I'd love to help but I'm kind of busy."
"It's been a minute. You'd think by now someone would have gotten our flag back. I just killed a dude who came after me. It's getting kind of dangerous here. I think I'll go upstairs and protect myself better."
"It's been two minutes. What are you people doing? I have half a mind to go get our flag myself. I wish I could drop this flag first. Wait I could get in a vehicle. That drops the flag. I'll bring the vehicle up here, then bring the flag back here, then jump back in the vehicle. It's risky but I'm all I can count on apparently."
"Holy Shit! There's a guy right outside in a raptor. Now he knows where I am. He's trying to shoot at me through the holes."
"Let's see how Mr. Raptor likes Mr. Rocket."
"Guys It's been 4 minutes, you think you would have accidentally touched our flag by now. The only reason I'm still alive is because Red Team sucks almost as bad as you."
"5 minutes? Really? Did you guys think this was deathmatch or something. You can't win just by killing the other team.
"Mr. Raptor is back."
"I got him but I'm almost out of life."
"There's a guy in our base with a rocket launcher and he just found me. I don't think I can make it. I'm in a box surrounded by walls."
"I'm dead, they got their flag back. Thanks Blue Team"
"Our flag has been returned? And just moments after I respawned? Irony you are a filthy whore."
"Fuck you Blue Team. I'm not helping you anymore."
"Oh look, Red Team scored again, and with just one minute left. I wonder who's going to win."
"Surprise, surprise, Red Team won."
"I would just like to say Blue Team has ruined UTIII for me. I am returning this game on Monday. In fact you might have ruined all games for me, as well as my faith in humanity."
"I hope to see you all burning in hell one day playing a live version of capture the flaming flag, and sucking at it."
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